You can't stop stealing shoes. It started off as a dare, this one time that a friend got you to rip off all the shoes that were on your neighbour's doorstep while he was throwing a party. But now it's a serious problem. You lost your job at the bowling alley because customers' shoes were mysteriously disappearing. You sleep underneath them. The scent of leather is like a drug. Your house looks like it belongs on hoarders, except it's all shoes.