| Registered: | Oct 27, 2006 9:44 PM |
| ID: | 65600 |
| Title: | User |
| Name: | M Alienor Aldridge |
| Gender: | Female |
| Email: | [email protected] |
| Eem: | 1,082 |
| Pet choice: | Ignore |
| eeMail: | Send eeMail |
| Forum posts: | Forum posts |
| Achievements: | Member |
| Pets: | Alain, Muffled Hope |
| Last seen: | 976 weeks, 3 days, 1 hour, 33 minutes ago |
i wanna piece of sky Hi. Honestly, I don't understand myself. I'm lonely, forlorn, forsaken, alienated, and empty. I don't have friends; I have close and distant acquaintances. Some of them think they are my friends, but I just don't know. No one knows who I am and how I feel, and I think that if they really knew what I was like, they'd think I was a freak- and I'm okay with that. Well.. not really. ;x But what can I do about it? I have too many questions unanswered, and I think that at least 45% of the US hates me, even though I know less than 1% of people in it. I'm not a poser, but I do have a wiiide variety of moods. I can be so energetic that you'd swear I was a preppy cheerleader or something. Keep in mind  /b] I said energetic. Not really the way they act.I can be mad as hell, but that rarely happens. I looove smiling and trying on a lot of make up and stuff, even though I'm not really allowed to wear a lot. On the outside, I try really hard to act like I'm happy. I'm a pretty up beat person. People think I'm just like everyone else, so they smile at me and ignore me. Inside, I'm very morbid. I'm sad and I bring myself down often from thinking entirely too much. But when I'm not listening to music or writing, it's all I do; think. About life, these questions eating at my head, death, people who are suffering, what will happen to me when I die, etc. I used to cry from these massive thinking headaches, but now I just put up with them. I take medicine for it, but it doesn't help the stress and junk; It just puts me to sleep. <3 The easiest way to take a break from my life. I have so many problems I need to resolve, and the more I try to ignore them, the more they build up. I think I'm a bit mental, but what does it matter. I have boughs of insanity and depression, but I've never seriously considered suicide. I figure I'd rather just let myself go insane, though I'm terrified of the insane asylum. I believe in God, because I have seen angels, and they used to show me messages on my wall. Lately I've been out of contact with them, because I've been doubting them and questioning whether I really saw them or not- Though they still show up at random times just to make sure I don't completely forget them.  | |