| Registered: | May 28, 2005 12:35 AM |
| ID: | 38628 |
| Title: | User |
| Name: | who tho hell cares??? |
| Gender: | Female |
| Eem: | 1,082,968 |
| Pet choice: | Befriend |
| eeMail: | Send eeMail |
| Forum posts: | Forum posts |
| Achievements: | Member |
| Pets: | Vegeta25, Goku25, piccolo25, Gohan25, Trunks25, Goten25, Bulma25, ChiChi25 |
| Shops: | food and toys |
| Last seen: | 944 weeks, 2 days, 2 hours, 25 minutes ago |
| favorite shows: Naruto Inuyasha Case Closed Dragonball Z yu-gi-oh Family Guy Furturama FullMetalAlchemist my friends: i love yaim mad shark greek_geek I LOVE LEON!!!!!!!!!!!! FROM RESIDENT EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HE'S HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND HE'S MINE MINE MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (sorry, i had to say that ^_^') Quotes- "Mr.Belvedere, that evil, crafty nanny, or butler, or whatever kinda freaky thing he had going on in the 80's" "Bring trash in here, this is my house!" "*imagin theres a desk with a piece of paper and has a stick figure on it smileing* yeah we didn't find a flash back so just press any button *presses any button* yah! "i'd love to saty and chat but your a totally bitch" "barbie is a bitch she is just a witch i really hate her why does ken date her? ken is such a man i'd do all i can just to do him we just want to screw him!" *note- this is a song* "*quiet* *a fart happens* what the hell was that?" (Lois walks in on Stewie torturing a bully) Stewie: We're playing house... Lois: But that kid is all tied up! Stewie: Roman Polanski's house Tom Tucker: A bit of breaking news. A local family is forced out of their home by ghosts. Who are they gonna call? Diane Simmons (sighs): Ghostbusters, Tom. Tom Tucker: No, Diane. Their insurance company. That's just stupid what you said. Stewie: Uh, there's a half-dead-fat-man eating a dead-fat-man...am I the only one who realized? Oh, okay... Stewie: Now, I'm going to do something I like to call the 'Compliment Sandwhich" Where I say something good, talk about where you need improvement, and then end with something good. Brian: Whatever you gotta do... Stewie (flips notepad): Something good... something good... You look like SNOOPY and it makes me smile... but you have smelly dog farts. Lawyer: Peter, Sarah has decided to press sexual harrasssment charges against you. Peter: Sarah...Is that the one we video taped taking a dump? Chris: What do you do at a Young Republicans meeting? Alyssa: We help those who already have the means to help themselves. Also, we perpetuate the idea that Jesus chose America to destroy non-believers and brown people. Chris: I don't know why, but I feel safer already. Peter: By the way Lois, I got a piercing over there. I'm not going to tell you where but I will give you a hint--it wasn't on my nose or my ear and it was one of my balls. Stewie: Did you hear that Meg? Guys can marry other guys now. So...this is awkward, but I mean, if they can do that, that is pretty much it for you, isn't it? I mean you as well pack it in. Game over. Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.' Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios Peter: Hey hey I got an idea. Lets play "I Never." You got to drink if you did the thing that the person says they never did. Cleveland: Oh I got one, I never slept with a women with the lights on. (They all drink.) Joe: I'll go next, uh I never had sex with Cleveland's wife. (Quagmire and Cleveland drink.) Peter: alright lets see uh, I never did a chick in a Logan airport bathroom. (Only Quagmire drinks.) ****About 33 drinks later**** Peter: God lets see what else is there um...I never gave a reach-around to a spider monkey while reciting the Pledge of Alligence. Quagmire: Oh God. (Quagmire takes a drink.) Joe: I uh I never picked up an illegal alien at Home Depot to take home a choke me while I touch myself. Quagmire: Oh come on! (Quagmire drinks again.) Peter: I never did the same thing except with someone from Joann Fabrics. Quagmire: Oh God this is ridiculous. You guys suck! (Drinks more and passes out.) Peter (narrating his life): "I walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. I looked with a grimace at the questionable meal Lois had placed in front of me. Of course I'd never tell her how disgusted I was with her cooking, but somehow I think she knew. Lois had always been full of energy and life, but lately I had begun to grow more aware of her aging. The bright, exuberant eyes that I had fallen in love with were now beginning to grow dull and listless with the long fatigue of a weary life. (Lois knocks Peter out.) I woke several hours later in a daze." Peter (when he's hungover): This sucks worse than that time I went to that museum. (Flashback to childhood, standing in museum looking at dinosaur skeltons.) Peter (as a child): Why did all the dinosaurs die out? Man at Museum: Because you touch yourself at night. Meg: I just want to kill myself I'm gonna go upstairs and eat a whole bowl of peanuts. (Lois and Peter stare in silence) Meg: I'm allergic to peanuts. (Peter and Lois keep staring) Meg: You dont know anything about me. (runs upstairs) Peter: Who was that guy? Peter (after Lois tells him he's childish): "If I'm a child that means you're a pedophile, and I'll be damned if i'm going stand here and take this from a pervert." Peter: Don't worry Chris. Sometimes it's good not to fit in. (Flashback to Veitnam) Peter (dressed in a clown suit): You guys are stupid. Their gonna be looking for army people. Bonnie: Somebody save him, he can't swim! Peter: Oh, he's not even kicking. Kick Joe, kick. Lois: Peter, he's a paraplegic! Peter: That doesn't mean he can't hear. Kick Joe, kick! Peter: (Grabs the microphone at a fast food restaurant) Attention restaurant customers: Testicles. That is all. Peter: Sometimes it's appropriate to swear (Peter is in court) Bailiff: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you god? Peter: I do........You bastard Lois: Peter,why are we stopped? Peter: Yeah, I'll have three cheeseburgers... Lois: Peter for God's sakes she's havin' a baby! Peter: Oh that's right...and a kid's meal... and uh,I, I guess I'll have fries...if I have fries is anyone else gonna have any? Cuz,uh I don't wanna be the only one eatin' them... I'll feel like a fatty. Meg (about Peter being retarded): I can never go to school again! Stewie: Oh, yes, Meg, yes-yes yes, everything was going swimmingly for you until this. Yes, yes, THIS is the thing that will ruin your reputation, not your years of grotesque appearance, or your awkward social graces, or that Felix Ungerish way you clear your sinuses, no no no, it's THIS. Do you hear yourself talk? I might kill you tonight Stewie: How you uh, how you comin' on that novel you're working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta, gotta nice litte story you're working on there? Your big novel you've been working on for 3 years? Huh? Gotta, gotta compelling protaganist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Working on, working on that for quite some time? Huh? (voice getting higher pitched) Yea, talking about that 3 years ago. Been working on that the whole time? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? (voice returns to normal) No, no, you deserve some time off. Guy on Airplane: Oh great, I always end up sitting next to a damn baby. Stewie: What did you just say? Lois: Stewie, stop fussing. Stewie: Pipe down Lois. (Slaps guy on head.) Hey big man, turn around. Oh you can't hear me now. I was going to watch the movie, but forget it. For the next 5 hours, you're my bitch. Stewie: It wasn't even about the eggs, really. Frankly, I like the yolks. I have no problem. There's always been a lot of tension between Lois and me. And it's not so much that I want to kill her, it's just, I want her not to be alive anymore. I sometimes wonder if all women are this difficult. And then I think to myself, 'My God wouldn't it be marvelous if i turned out to be a homosexual?' Stewie (to Jeremy, the babysitter's boyfriend): Ha! I got your hat! Take that, hatless! Now go back to the quad and resume your hackey sac tourney! I'm not gonna lay down for some frat boy bastard with his damn Teva sandals and his Skoal Bandits and his Abercrombie and Fitch long sleeved, open stitched, crew neck Henley smoking his sticky buds out of a soda can while watching his favorite downloaded Simpsons episodes every night! Yes, we all love "Mr. Plow"! Oh, you've got the song memorized, do you? SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE! That is exactly the kind of idiot you see at Taco Bell at 1 in the morning! The guy who just whiffed his way down the bar skank ladder! Stewie: Uh you've reached stewie and brian, we're not here right now, uh and if this is mom, uh send money because we're college students and we need money for books...and highlighters...and.... ramen noodles...and condoms, for sexual relations with our classmates. (Lois finds a note in Chris's pocket) Lois: Huh, what's this? You know Stewie, Mommy doesn't usually read things out of Chris's pocket. She's more respectful than that. Stewie: Whatever helps you sleep at night, bitch. Stewie's Letter: Dear stupid dog, I've gone to live with the children on jolly farm. Good bye forever. Stewie. P.S. I never got a chance to return that sweater Lois gave me for Christmas. Umm, I left the receipt on top of my bureau. I'm probably over the thirty day return limit but umm… I'm sure if you make a fuss they'll at least give you a store credit or something. Umm.. It's actually not a horrible sweater. It's... It's just I can't imagine when I would ever wear it you know? Oh I also left a button on the bureau. I'm not sure what it goes to, but I can never bring myself to throw a button away. I know that as soon as I do I'll find the garment it goes to and then it'll… Wait a minute, could it be from the sweater? Did that sweater have buttons? Hmm… Well I should wrap this up before I start to ramble. Again, goodbye forever. P.P.S. You know, it might be a little chilly in London, I'm actually going to take the sweater. Olivia: You are the weakest link, goodbye. (laughter) Stewie: Ha ha ha! Oh gosh that's funny! That's really funny! Do you write your own material? Do you? Because that is so fresh. You are the weakest link goodbye. You know, I've, I've never heard anyone make that joke before. Hmm. You're the first. I've never heard anyone reference, reference that outside the program before. Because that's what she says on the show right? Isn't it? You are the weakest link goodbye. And, and yet you've taken that and used it out of context to insult me in this everyday situation. God what a clever, smart girl you must be, to come up with a joke like that all by yourself. That's so fresh too. Any, any Titanic jokes you want to throw at me too as long as we're hitting these phenomena at the height of their popularity. God you're so funny! Stewie: Damn, must have pulled something playing hoops last week. (Goes to flashback of Stewie playing basketball.) Stewie: I know you ain't puttin that rock up from here, cause you ain't got no J! (Stewie trips basketball player) Baskeball player: Yo man, that's trippin! Stewie: Brotha please, you're the one who's trippin'! Now go on! Cry home to your momma! She waitin' for ya! Basketball player: Now don't make me stick my size thirteens up yo narrow ass! Stewie: Oh, sweet! Bring it on bitch! Now how you gonna act?! (Basketball player walks away.) Jeeze! Bringin that trash in here. Dis is my house!!! Chris: Hey little dude, how about some ice cream? Stewie: Yes I could go for a frozen treat right about now. But no sprinkles. And for every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you. Meg: Everybody! Guess what I am? Stewie: Hm, the end result of a drunken back-seat grope-fest and a broken prophylactic? Stewie: I was under the impression the name of the show was "Kids Say the Darndest Things," not "Old Black Comedians Never Shut the Hell Up." Lois: I'm gonna go get some oranges Stewie. Here, hold the rest of these bags for mommy." Stewie: Oh, what brilliant parenting Lois. Leave a tiny infant with a plastic bag. You know I might asphyxiate myself just to teach you a lesson. Here I go. Just like that boy from INXS..(Stewie tries to put bag over top of his head.) Stewie: I'm going to do it! (Tries to put bag over left side of his head then climbs into it and tries pulling it over his head.) Stewie: BLAST! Good Lord Lois, either I was a c-section, or you're Wonder Woman! Bill Cosby: Stewie, what do you think candy is made out of? Stewie Griffin: Sunshine and farts! What the hell kind of question is that?! Lois: Stewie why don't you play in the other room? Stewie: Why don't you burn in hell? (Stewie covering up the dead body of Mr. Lockhart by hiding in his blood-covered suit as a police officer drives up.) Officer: Everything alright here? Stewie: Oh fine officer, just enjoying the sunset. No law against that, is there? Officer: What happened to your shirt? Stewie: Oh you know, just a pizza party at the office. Officer: Oh yeah, where do you work? Stewie: First Fidelity Insurance over on Weybossett Street. Officer: Oh my cousin Arnie works over there. Stewie: Oh Arnie's your cousin is he? Officer: You know him? Stewie: Oh somewhat, good middle management type. Just sort of blends in with the furniture, though, never really wowed anyone at the office. Officer: Yeah, that's always been Arnie's problem. Well, take it easy. Stewie: Yes yes, you too. Oh and if you see Arnie, tell him 'boogity boogity boo.' He'll know what it means. Future Stewie: That's never happened to me before. Girlfriend: What, the 8 seconds of sex or the 40 minutes of crying? Future Stewie: Both Stewie: I want pancakes!! You people understand every language except English! Yo quiero pancakes! Donnez-moi pancakes! Click-click-bloody-click pancakes!!! Lois Griffin: Come on Stewie, don't be afraid. It's just water, it's not gonna bite. Stewie Griffin: Shut up! I know it's not going to bite, stupid! What a stupid thing to say. You drown in it you moron! It doesn't have to bite you! Stewie: You know it's awfully dangerous for me to be walking around the mall at my height. I say, let me get on your back. Brian: Oh for God sake. Stewie: Strong with the force young Skywalker is. Brian: God, I don't believe this. Stewie: That is why you fail.          thank you for reading my profile.....oh and one more thing,BURN IN HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh just kiding | |