| Registered: | May 20, 2005 11:26 PM |
| ID: | 38131 |
| Title: | User |
| Name: | Oliver James |
| Gender: | Male |
| Eem: | 1,076,033 |
| Pet choice: | Befriend |
| eeMail: | Send eeMail |
| Forum posts: | Forum posts |
| Achievements: | Member |
| Pets: | Nikki the raver |
| Last seen: | 974 weeks, 3 hours, 27 minutes ago |
| *ov* I have a mystery in my profile. If you figure it out i'll give you a prize. Good luck! Glad Trash Bags got it. To bad for all of you. No more prizes, damnit. I am Albino and Jamaican. Dont make fun of me because i have pink eyes... -_- If i'm not on im... 1) DJing at a rave 2) Sleeping because im tired FROM DJing at a rave 3) Sitting down complaining about the brain blast i got from the ride my headphones gave me through super sonic-e hell 4) With my friends 5) Something else i haven't listed Yes i am a DJ.  I havent taken my medication in a while now. Its taking its effect on me. My arms and anywhere i can reach with a razor proves it. My journali'll let you read it. I dont really care. August 25, 2005 I sent a rag and container of my blood to kki. I hope she likes it. __________________________________________________ August 30, 2005 She didnt like it.  She asked what was wrong. I lied...I dont want her to think im a total freak. I hope she asks again...I hate lieing...__________________________________________________ September 1, 2005 She asked again today... I told the truth like i said i would... Shes been really worried about me lately. I hate doing stuff that makes her worried about me. I wish...i dont know what to wish for anymore... I wish i could die and make her life easier... Yeah that works... I guess i could cut deeper. I might bleed to death. Im gunna go do that. __________________________________________________ September 2, 2005 Kki caught me before i stabbed my knife through my wrist. She started crying softly while hugging me... Why does she do these things for me? __________________________________________________ September 3, 2005 I tryed to kill myself today...failed...kkis image just kept poping up in my head... Kept on thinking of how it would effect her... I wonder what hells like... They say that when you kill yourslef your sent to hell where youll be ripped apart in eternal agony for the rest of time... Sounds nice. __________________________________________________ September 4, 2005 "Dont feels sorry for me, just because you see these marks, these scars, Dug deep into my flesh. Im just trying to show you my mind. Dont stop me, just because you think you care. You know you cant forever. You filthy demons cared for me but i want to see the real ones, where ill be ripped apart in eternal agony, untill time stops." - Suicide note #1 __________________________________________________ September 5, 2005 "You stop me, you try to help. It doesnt work that way just please stop. Your just killing my mind. Your making it worst, just let me finish what i started. Just...please...forget me, live a happy life without me..." Suicide note #2 __________________________________________________ September 7, 2005 Ive been staying at kkis place. she took all the sharp things out of the house. I cant even find a fucking fork in here. She evn cut my finger and toes nails... She wont even let me leave... She comes downstairs at night and sits with me for a while. I unload my sub-conscience and after about an hour or so i find a pair of arms draped around me and... it actually makes me feel warm inside... __________________________________________________ September 8, 2005 My cuts are starting to heal...damnit... __________________________________________________ september 9, 2005 Kki keeps on coming down and looking after me. She didnt go back upstairs today though. She stayed with me untill i fell asleep with my head resting on her lap and her gental voice actually singing a song! I feel so special! __________________________________________________ September 10, 2005 Today kki walked downstairs with a knife in her hand. She gave me the knife and her arms and told me to cut her. I looked in her eyes and she was serious. I set the blade on her fragile looking wrist and apllyed a little pressure. It didnt cut and i looked back at her and she was looking at the blade unflinching. I applyed a little more pressure. It cut a little but just a paper cut. She didnt flinch however i was shaking. I lifted the blade but she slid her hand over mine and set the blade back where it was and cut it petty deeply. I just stared at the blood as it slowly leeked out down her wrist and dripped onto me. She gave me the knife and thanked me. Im scared. I dont know whats happening. I just stared at the little pool of blood she left. I set the knife down and tryed to think of why she wanted me to do that. Im confused. Im going to bed. I woke up a few seconds later and the blood spot was gone. Just a dream. Calm down... __________________________________________________ September 11, 2005 911 __________________________________________________ September 13, 2005 Why do i do the things i do? Why do i feel the things i feel? Why am i the way i am? Well, why the fuck are you asking? __________________________________________________ september 17, 2005 i tried my hand at smoking today... makes you cough uncontrollably. Whatever. I would love an addiction to take my mind off everything... __________________________________________________ september 24, 2005 smoking is finally an addiction. kki found out... shes trying to make me stop... she cant anymore. they make me stop thinking about everything bad. just feels good to satisfy the addiction... __________________________________________________ September 27, 2005 she finally let me go home... __________________________________________________ september 30, 2005 OH GOD KKI PLEASE READ THIS!!!!!!!!!! COME AND GET ME!!! I CANT TAKE IT!!! PLEASE COME GET ME!!!!!! __________________________________________________ november 2, 2005 they caught me smoking and took away all of my lighters and cigarettes... damnit... ill get some off of jet... __________________________________________________ novermber 15, 2005 tonight. tonights the night! *sigh* thank you, few who have bothered... __________________________________________________ november 17, 2005 OJ's gone. Everyone is out looking for him. No one knows where he is... -Lich __________________________________________________         My Good Friends- Lich [Nikki]  Ke [Brooke](well...not really.) roos Wishlist: Purple (Thanx Ke and oOBrokenOo!) Sprits (i collect them) Lich [  ]I l**e lich! | |