| Registered: | Jan 8, 2005 9:58 PM |
| ID: | 29142 |
| Title: | User |
| Name: | Zaphod Beeblebrox |
| Gender: | Male |
| Eem: | 1,012,969 |
| Pet choice: | Befriend |
| eeMail: | Send eeMail |
| Forum posts: | Forum posts |
| Achievements: | Member |
| Pets: | Ix, x__Trillian__x |
| Shops: | Hip Shack |
| Last seen: | 1049 weeks, 5 days, 19 hours, 4 minutes ago |
 "If there's anything more important than my ego, I want it caught and shot now." "Magrathea's been dead for five million years,' said Zaphod; 'Of course it's safe. Even the ghosts will have settled down and raised families by now." "An expression of deep worry and concern failed to cross either of Zaphod's faces." "Computer...' said Zaphod again, who had been trying to think of some subtle piece of reasoning to put the computer down with, and had decided not to bother competing with it on its own ground, 'if you don't open that exit hatch this moment I shall zap straight off to your major data banks and reprogram you with a very large ax, got that?" "That's it,' said Zaphod with the sort of grin that would get most people locked away in a room with soft walls." "Look," said Zaphod, "I'm up to here with cool, OK? I'm so amazingly cool you could keep a side of meat inside me for a month." "The Zaphod Beeblebrox?" "No, just a Zaphod Beeblebrox, didn't you hear I come in six packs?" "But sir," it squealed, "I just heard on the sub-ether radio report. It said that you were dead ..." "Yeah, that's right," said Zaphod, "I just haven't stopped moving yet." "Beeblebrox over here! Who are you?" "A friend!" shouted back the man. He ran towards Zaphod. "Oh yeah?" said Zaphod, "Anyone's friend in particular, or just generally well disposed of people?" "If I ever meet myself," said Zaphod, "I'll hit myself so hard I won't know what's hit me." Zaphod started with fear and his blood seemed to turn to liquid helium. In an extraordinary gesture which is pointless attempting to describe, Zaphod Beeblebrox slapped both his foreheads with two of his arms and one of his thighs with the other. The waiter approached. "Would you like to see the menu?" he said, "or would you like to meet the Dish of the Day?" "Huh?" said Ford. "Huh?" said Arthur. "Huh?" said Trillian. "That's cool," said Zaphod, "we'll meet the meat." "But what about the End of the Universe? We'll miss the big moment." "I've seen it. It's rubbish," said Zaphod, "nothing but a gnab gib." "A what?" "Opposite of a big bang. Come on, let's get zappy." "Hey, Marvin," said Zaphod striding over towards to him, "Hey, kid, are we pleased to see you." Marvin turned, and in so far as it is possible for a totally inert metal face to look reproachfully, this is what it did. "No you're not," he said, "no one ever is." I'm Zaphod Beeblebrox the first, my father was Zaphod Beeblebrox the second, my grandfather was Zaphod Beeblebrox the third and so on...there was an accident with a contraceptive and a time machine. "I am so amazingly cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a month. I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis." "...don’t try to outweird me, I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal." [talking about a elevator]: "’Afraid?’ cried Zaphod, ‘Of what? Heights? An elevator that’s afraid of heights?’ ‘No,’ said the elevator miserably, ‘of the future...’ ‘The future?’ exclaimed Zaphod, ‘What does the wretched thing want, a pension scheme?’" "Zaphod grinned two manic grins, sauntered over to the bar and brought most of it." "’Listen Ford,’ said Zaphod, ‘everything’s cool and froody.’ ‘You mean everything’s under control.’ ‘No,’ said Zaphod, ‘I do not mean everything’s under control. That would not be cool and froody.’" "Zaphod moved forward to it, slowly, like a man possessed - or more accurately like a man who wanted to possess." "’I wonder who this ship belongs to anyways,’ said Arthur. ‘Me,’ said Zaphod. ‘No. Who it really belongs to.’ ‘Really me,’ insisted Zaphod, ‘look, property is theft, right? Therefore theft is property. Therefore this ship is mine, OK?’" "’Ford,’ he said, ‘how many escape capsules are there?’ ‘None,’ said Ford. Zaphod gibbered. ‘Did you count them?’ he yelled. ‘Twice,’ said Ford." "He smiled the smile that Zaphod had wanted to hit and this time Zaphod hit it." | |